You gotta help me, I can't do it all by myself (Sonny Boy Williamson)

After I took my shower this morning, I slowly peeled off the bandage. If you have been following this blog, you'd know that I didn't spend a lot of time staring at the port or touching it. I haven't looked at it since I took off the bandages. I am not sure at the moment how the hell I'm ever going to wash it, because I don't want to touch it.  

It's not as sore as it was earlier today, and I don't feel as if I have to keep my head tilted to the right at all times. I think the bandage was causing that sensation. I've been taking Ibuprofen and that helps.  

I guess the bummer part is that they still have to stick me to draw blood and administer IVs and chemo, but they have a bigger hole to poke - she said it's about the size of a nickel - but they don't have to worry about my veins cooperating. I'll let you know how it goes when they use it the first time, which will probably be for pre-op for my upcoming colostomy surgery. What fun, what glee!

I don't have much else to report about the cancer, Pretty Boy Rhoid or me, but I'd like to tell you about the wonderful family and friends in my life who have stepped forward in various ways.

My youngest brother and his wife have been faithfully taking me to my doctors' appointments, scans, tests, and surgeries since this started. They both work, so this is affecting their jobs, too. They have taken notes, asked questions, and given me opinions about the doctors we've been "interviewing," and we were all in agreement. My sister-in-law has been talking to her friends who are living with cancer to get some helpful hints about various aspects of treatment, side effects, and helpful agencies or support groups. My other sister-in-law has volunteered to take me to appointments when needed. My nieces have offered to help, too. Another brother has said he can take me to appointments, too. (On a sad, side note, my oldest brother committed suicide in January, but I know he would have done whatever he could have to help me, if he hadn't been sick. Between his suicide and this cancer, 2013 has not been a great year, but I plan on ending it on a positive note.) My aunt and uncle and cousins in other states are in touch - my uncle is going through cancer treatments, too. 

My coworkers have been picking up the slack for me, when I'm out of the office. My team sent me a big fruit "bouquet" today, complete with dark chocolate, covered strawberries. When I work (from home now) several of them have sent me messages asking how I am, and if there's anything I need. Several have offered to walk my dogs. One coworker is trying to start a non-profit organization for people with cancer who don't have a lot of family or friends to help them. A longtime friend took me to a movie. Another long time mutual friend gave us free passes to the movie and brought me dinner one night which lasted for two nights. A friend whom I've worked with at three different companies was coming over to bring me some homemade soup and cornbread and spotted me at a stop sign and followed me. When I stopped at a store, she pulled in behind me and blocked the alley. I didn't realize who she was, and thought I was being stalked. She told me the story and handed over two containers of soup and a big bag of cornbread. The soup was great and provided me with meals for days! The wife of a former coworker, who is now a friend, cooked all day and brought over the most amazing assortment of gourmet meals. She made spanakopita, Thai chili salmon, blue cheese quinoa, fruit berry salad, Greek potatoes, lemon garlic chicken with goat cheese, "crack" potato salad, buffalo ranch pulled chicken (spicy!), chocolate granola bars, chocolate brownies, caprese pops, and two more things in the freezer the names of which I have forgotten. I may gain back the 15 pounds I've lost, but it will be worth it. My neighbor sends me funny emails and tells me I'm her favorite author. Her husband has offered to go to the doctors with me to ask questions (he's a biochemist.) My best friend in high school and college sent me a book about healing. The class president from high school who I went from grade school through college with wrote to one of the directors of a cancer group in town that she knows and asked for names of doctors I should see for my kind of cancer - I ended up going with his suggestions, too. Another neighbor had asked his son-in-law who is another director at the center I ended up going to, if he could help me. Old friends call or write to see how I am. My Facebook friends send me encouraging comments and kind remarks. Some people put me in their prayers, some send me good vibes, and some send good thoughts my way. My best friend in San Francisco is in touch almost daily. Another longtime friend from high school who lives in southern California writes frequently, and her sister who lives here has offered to help drive me around. A friend I haven't seen since college has offered to let me visit him in his home in Florida. People have opened up to me with their cancer stories. My 83 year old friend who moved away earlier this year calls about twice a week to get updates. One of my ex-husbands has called to wish me well and his wife sends me messages on Facebook. My ex sister-in-law has shared stories about her Mom, who was a great buddy of mine and had several kinds of cancer throughout her life and lived to be in her early 80s. I've made a new friend with my story about cancer and she has offered to help with meals, drive me to appointments, and walk my dogs. Everyone I have reached out to has reached back with something to help me on my way. It's really opened my eyes to the good people in my life. It's also showing me that there are times when being totally independent and self sufficient won't work. Sometimes, you have to ask for help and get out of the way.