Is it that difficult to tell my ass from a hole in the ground?

I talked to many friends, doctors, and nurses when I was trying to find the best doctor for me.  Many people told me that it's really important to find the right fit for me and my situation. The first doctor I saw was a referral from another doctor, and of the three times we met, I felt comfortable with her one time. The other two times I felt rushed. Her bedside manner did not work for me.  

Part of my problem with finding the right doctor was that I was told that I had cancer in the vagina and rectum, so I wasn't sure if I should see an GYN oncologist or a colorectal surgeon. So after seeing a colorectal surgeon, I decided to go to a GYN oncologist. Several friends had steered me towards two cancer groups in my town, so I wanted to talk to doctors from both groups. When I met with the GYN oncologist at one group, he wanted to defer to the colorectal doctor who had done the recent colonoscopy and ultrasound.  But I told him I wanted his opinion, and that I didn't plan to go back to her. Both he and his nurse were surprised that I didn't like the colorectal doctor, and said that all her patients loved her. I didn't doubt that, and I didn't doubt that the doctor and nurse love her, too, but she was not the doctor for me. 

After the colonoscopy, the colorectal surgeon told my brother that she was 99% sure that I had colon cancer. The colonoscopy pathology report came back as "detached fragments of squamous epithelium with severe dysplasia/carcinoma in situ," and a comment, "A more significant lesion is difficult to exclude as invasion is difficult to rule out in these detached fragments." Carcinoma in situ is pre-cancer. When I left her office that day, after she had gotten the pathology report which did not show that I had invasive cancer, I was given three appointments for the following day: one with a chemo oncologist, one with a radiation oncologist, and one to get a port put it. I'm not a doctor and I don't even play one on TV, but I wanted better evidence of invasive cancer than what I'd been presented with before I had a port put in and started therapy. And that's why I was still on a quest for a doctor and talking to a GYN oncologist.  

When he realized that I wanted his opinion, he did another biopsy of my vagina. (At this point, I'd had a Pap test, two CT scans, two ultrasounds, a colonoscopy and an MRI.)  He tried to get a better sampling of tissue, expecting the report to show invasive cancer.  We discussed other doctors who were in his group and who would handle chemo, radiation, and putting in the port. The problem was that he was going on vacation for two weeks and wouldn't be able to do the more definitive tissue sampling until he got back. I liked this doctor and his staff, and I had heard great things about him and the doctors who would be on the team for my case, but I did not want to wait over two weeks, before the next test was done.  Meanwhile, the biopsy report he did came back as "ulcerated high grade squamous intraepithelial lesion with underlying granulation tissue," which is not invasive cancer.

When I got home, I contacted a GYN oncologist in the other highly recommended group I was interested in. I talked with her receptionist and got an appointment a few days after my appointment with the GYN oncologist who was going to do another biopsy after his vacation. I emailed my records to her. Later that day, she called me back saying that the oncologist wanted to move my appointment up. They asked me to come in at 7:00 AM, which I did. Thanks again to my brother and his wife for taking me and providing two other sets of ears. This GYN oncologist had asked several staff members to come in early to meet me and get me ready, and they were all gracious when I thanked them for coming in early. I knew right away that this doctor was the one I wanted on my team!  She was personable, kind, and she listened and let us all ask questions. We never felt rushed, and she talked to us in a comfortable consultation room, instead of having us sit on a chair, a footstool, and an examination table, as we had at the first colorectal surgeon's office. My brother, sister-in-law, and I were all impressed. This doctor had already consulted with a colorectal surgeon in her group, and they were ready to work me in to do surgery the next day. Together, they would get core samples of tissue from my vagina and rectum to try to uncover the invasive cancer that everyone thought I had, but no one could find. I told them to sign me up!