Unexpected good new

Almost a month has passed since I last posted here. A lot has happened and most of it was really good. 

When I went in for the gastrografin enema, I told the tech that I was concerned that it would hurt because of the radiation I'd had. He went and talked to the doctor, and the doctor decided to use a much smaller apparatus instead of the longer one with the balloon. I found out the balloon is inflated after the apparatus is inserted to hold the cannula in place, while they fill up the area with the liquid. The smaller apparatus didn't hurt at all, and the doctor told me while he was viewing my insides that he didn't see the fistula. He said he would need to review the x-rays, but from what he could see, the fistula was gone. The tech later told me that all the liquid went straight to the ostomy bag. Plus, I was told that I should wear a pad, because I was going to leak all day, but that didn't happen either, because the liquid went to the ostomy bag. 

I waited for the results and took them to my colo-rectal surgeon. She was very pleased that the test confirmed the fistula had healed itself and got up from her chair to give me a hug. She said she was so happy to be able to give good news for a change. I asked if it was very common for a fistula to heal itself, and she said it was very unexpected. While fistulas can heal themselves, they tend to grow even larger from radiation, and my radiation oncologist had told me early on that he was 100% certain that I would have the colostomy for the rest of my life. While I was discouraged from his statement, I decided to believe my colo-rectal surgeon who had told me that she would do whatever she could to reverse it. And she was true to her word - more about this in the next blog.

She and I had had a previous conversation about other surgeries that she could perform if the fistula were still there, and they were not easy surgeries or easy recoveries. One type of surgery was possible if the fistula were small enough and low enough in my vagina. This surgery is called graciloplasty and the gracilis muscle is a little used muscle on the inside of the thigh. "It can be turned upwards to be used as a living transposition muscle flap to cover or repair damaged tissue." The other type was even worse and involved two surgeries. First, I would have switched from a colostomy (large intestine) to an ileostomy (small intestine) and that would have had to be in place for two months while the area of the second surgery healed. The second surgery, called a colo-rectal anastomosis would have meant removing some of the rectum where the radiation had done damage, then pulling the colon down and creating a J-pouch out of the colon where the waste would go. Then the colon would have been sewn to the remaining part of the rectum. Fecal incontinence is not uncommon after anastomosis surgery and exercises to strengthen the anal muscle are needed. Dehydration is somewhat common with ileostomies. Also, with anastomosis surgery, because the J-pouch is where the waste goes, and the construction of the colon is different from the rectum, I would have had to learn new signals that I needed to poop. The rectum has a very sophisticated collection of nerve endings in it which send signals to the brain letting you know that you have gas, poop, or liquid. (Apparently, this collection of nerves isn't so sophisticated as you age, because sometimes, we seniors think we have gas, but it's poop. Surprise! Are you wearing your Depends?)

Luckily, I got to avoid those surgeries, because the fistula healed itself. The unexpected good news of the fistula's departure balanced out the unexpected bad news that I had cancer, which I might not have discovered in time had it not been for the appearance of the fistula. Maybe it knew it was no longer needed and went away. I don't know what caused it to close up, but I admit to doing some visualizations of it closing, and I know many of you were saying prayers, sending good vibes, and healing thoughts my way, too. Whatever the reason it healed itself, I'm grateful.